The Power of Individual Choice leads to Empowerment

We all know how hard Michael Jordan used to practice to become the best, and the hours Lance Armstrong rode and the setbacks he overcame to be great. But is this type of dedication and determination something we can teach to our kids?

Sport activities in particular count on having your child present to participate. He may not be the best player on the team, but teaching him to honor his commitments and that results come with effort are valuable life lessons.

Why do children quit? There are many reasons for this. A child may quit because of a feeling of "this isn't fun for me." Sometimes children initially want to do what their peers are doing and then find it is not what they expected. Additionally, in today's fast paced society children are often easily distracted or bored, especially with traditional teaching methods that require a child to be disciplined, where there is no room for fun or laughter. Other times, children who want to quit may feel that they are not good enough after the first training/lesson/activity where other kids were doing better.

Parents who struggle with children about sport activities or music lessons need to know that such a struggle only tends to accelerate. Eventually, it is not possible to force children to participate in a class or sport. Trying to force them may only develop anxiety and even more resistance. This in turn could make them even more reluctant to try other new experiences.

Here are some tips on what parents could do to help their child make their own individual choices:

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  Children are often compared to sponges because they absorb the knowledge you share with them. To fully saturate these sponges, parents should make sure the tools used to help a child understand the lesson that is being taught are fun and exciting. This way children will enthusiastically absorb information and look forward to next activities.
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  Before enrolling to any activity, parents should sit down with their child and discuss how much time it will require, and what other activities they might miss out on. It helps kids realize they’re making a commitment. Involving children in decision-making about trying new activities helps - parents should discuss in advance about what would be a reasonable trial period for a new activity. Children get a sense of sharing control that makes the decision theirs and helps them accept the commitment.
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  Giving enthusiastic encouragement. Children crave for acknowledgements like “You are doing so great,” “I love listening to you!” or “It’s so much fun to watch you perform”. Parents who maintain a positive attitude and say all the right things help keep their children motivated especially when good results are yet to come.
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  Reminding them that results require work. If the child is already good at other activities like soccer, dance or any other activity, it's good to remind him/her how she got from a beginner to a good performer. If the child is younger, parents could try sharing their own story of how they quit too soon or got better at something with practice.

We always must remember that kids mature at their own pace and develop their unique skills at different times. Whatever parents decide for their children, they should consider their child's emotional and physical maturity and finally give the choice to the child to make decisions. Sometimes quitting simply means that the activity is not for him or her. Sometimes children show greater wisdom than their parents about what is good for them. At the end of the day, children will never quit doing what makes them feel happy.

At Dream A Dream, we strongly believe in the “Power of Individual Choice” and work hard towards developing this life skill through our programs and also through our attitude and actions.

Joanna Jeske
Joanna spent one year volunteering for Ashoka's Youth Venture in Thailand, where she worked with youth passionate about bringing about social change. Now, apart from working as a project manager for a international marketing company, she is actively involved in programs empowering young people from underprivileged backgrounds to lead more meaningful lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.